a little about myself

Well, I was born a poor black child in Section C of an Elvis concert. My dad thought they had great seats until my mom’s water broke. One minute they are singin' along to Hound-dog and the next minute Dad is cuttin off Mom’s Lee jeans with The King himself holding a towel, some hot water, a pouch of tobacco and a can of Cheez Whiz. I was named after my great-great-grandfather, Chief Wesko Wannahockalugee, who was the first Native American to serve in the Confederate Army from January 6th, 1862 to January 7th, 1862. He went to pee his name on a snowdrift his first day and got frost bit on his old pecker and died 2 days later. But enuff about how I acquired my name. I will give you a brief bio of my life. I am single, however, I was living with a girl for about four months recently, until she found out I was there. I once dated my buddy Jimmy Funks sister. Her name was Ivana. Ivana Funk was a sweet, nice girl, but very very horny. I met her in 6th grade at a Planned Parenthood meeting. I broke up with her after the senior prom when she told me she couldn’t go because she had to go pick her husband up from prison that afternoon. My Grandma Dean was the only really popular one in my family. Her husband, Bert, was an Elvis impersonator in the late 1920s, however it never really caught on back then and he ended up working in the cotton fields instead. Grandma, however, was the State Flatulence Champ, but she lost her title at a farting contest in Alabama at the State Fair. She was in the final round and was farting the song Elvira by the Oak Ridge Boys and in the middle of giddy-up oom-pappa mow-mow, she started to show off and got too low on the mow-mow and pooped her pants and got disqualified.